Whoopi (2003)

2. Don't Hide Your Bag

2003-09-16

When the nation's security threat level is elevated to an orange alert, Nasim's paranoia over an abandoned designer briefcase in the hotel lobby and fear of getting SARS from a group of Toronto tourists, carries over to Mavis, who calls the police bomb squad to blow up the attache. But when Mavis discovers that Courtney is missing his expensive new briefcase -- which was a gift from girlfriend, Rita, she scrambles to find an inexpensive knockoff.

3. Once Bitten...

2003-09-23

Mavis howls when Rita's pet ferret clamps onto her finger, but Mavis' ordeal just begins whens she heads for the emergency room and is ignored for hours while her finger swells -- and she gets too clever for her own good when she tries to sneak inside for treatment. However, Courtney gets better service when he takes the furry ferret to the vet's office while back at the abandoned hotel, Nasim jockeys with Jadwiga for control of the check-in desk.

4. Shout

2003-09-30

Frustrated after receiving a ticket for smoking in her hotel, Mavis feels responsible when poor Nasim is also cited for spitting in public after she stuffs a hot pepper in his mouth -- but when she urges him to contest the penalty in court, the naive handyman quits, fearing deportation back to Iran. Meanwhile, Mavis' unemployed brother Courtney loses cash in an ATM and then closes his cool when he is put on phone hold for hours which only makes Rita pout.

5. Smoke Gets in Your Eyes

2003-10-07

Love is blind, but Mavis feels guilty about using a sight-challenged man's interest in her to share in his prized tickets to the New York Rangers' hockey games -- however, Mavis gets mad when she also feels his wandering hands. Meanwhile, Nasim makes himself useful in so many ways when a curvy woman keeps asking him to work for trade as her own personal handyman.

6. The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy

2003-10-14

After a chance encounter with President Bush when his motorcade stops at the Lamont Hotel, Mavis cannot mouth off to the Commander in Chief after he recognizes her and pays homage to her singing talents -- but she clashes with Republican Courtney when Bush graciously invites her for a face-to-face meeting. Later, while out of place at a GOP function, a sassy Mavis drinks, smokes and speaks her mind -- and soon gets up-close-and-personal with the Secret Service.

7. She Ain't Heavy, She's My Partner

2003-10-21

When one of Mavis' former singing trio dies, she recoils at the sight of Florence, the other remaining member of "The Ebony Blackbirds" who arrives for the funeral looking sleek,stylish -- and scheming -- all of which re-ignites outspoken Mavis' jealousy and disgust. Meanwhile, girlfriend Rita is off-the-hook crazy when she learns that her shy Courtney was seduced by Florence years ago -- a scenario that inspires Nasim.

8. Rita Plays Poker

2003-10-28

When hip-hop Rita joins Mavis' rowdy all-girl smoker-poker night, she shows a new side of herself that offends conservative Courtney -- but the hip girlfriend won't hop to his orders to abandon the game and walks out on him, leaving the lawyer crestfallen on the eve of a big job interview. In order to reinvigorate her zombie-like brother before the interview, Mavis recruits Nasim in a desperate bid to reconcile the mismatched lovebirds.

9. Sticky Fingers

2003-11-11

After unwittingly ruining Nasim' s favorite shirt, a slightly guilty Mavis takes the handyman shopping for a replacement only to find herself in department store jail after mistakenly taken a belt without paying. Once word of her detention and alleged theft hits the media, Mavis' popularity skyrockets forcing her to fields interview requests from a bevy of reporters including VH1 -- who wants to use the incident to tailor a special "Behind the Music" on her illustrious career.

10. Mother's Little Helper

2003-11-18

Mavis is stricken with dread when her domineering, obnoxious mother arrives with her dad from North Carolina, but her mom's surprising polite and charming demeanor is due to her new prescription medication -- and things change for the worse when her pills are accidentally tossed. But even if the feel-good medication is found, will Mavis' mama even want to take them after she reverts to her same old nasty self?

11. The Fat and the Frivolous

2003-12-09

A ticked-off Mavis is dragged into court when a corpulent man sues her after he checks into her hotel and crashes through the room's bed -- and an intimidated Courtney must represent her against a slick, high-price lawyer who always out-wits his opponent. Aware that the plaintiff makes a living off false lawsuits, Courtney stages a mock trial to prepare his loud-mothed sister for the real thing but muzzling Mavis might prove impossible.

12. American Woman

2004-01-06

Mavis deals with guests smoking weed in her hotel while Nasim studies for his Citizenship Exam and gets some help from Mavis.

13. Airplane!

2004-01-13

Fear of flying besets Mavis, who's forced to confront her phobia because her poker friends and her are taking a trip to Bermuda. When Rita finds out Mavis is afraid of flying, she sends Mavis to a flight-simulator school (from hell). She tangles with the psychologist in charge and has a telling wrangle with Rita.

14. Is Rita Pregnant?

2004-02-03

After Rita starts to think she's pregnant, Courtney gets a job so he can buy a ring and propose to Rita. But when she says no because it is not a true loving proposal, they start to rethink their relationship. All of this news shocks Mavis. Elsewhere, Nasim and Jadwiga try to win Connecticut's Powerball Jackpot.

15. The Last Dance

2004-02-24

Mavis' former choreographer from her days as a one-hit singing wonder drops by her hotel and inspires her to resume their good times-loving relationship. However, her old friend has newfound religious convictions that Mavis intends to undermine.

16. No Sex in the City

2004-03-02

Mavis dons a blonde wig and presides over her female posse during a wild bachelorette party at a trendy night club as they celebrate Soo Lin's wedding and meet a wide variety of exotic patrons -- and as the bar bill adds up, the bride-to-be starts to have second thoughts. In another corner, designated driver Nasim is mistaken as Mavis' macho male escort and soon entertains offers of similar employment.

17. What Child is This?

2004-03-16

A bratty boy pesters Mavis, who's further piqued by the lad's pesky dad, a GOP functionary who offers Courtney a job with President Bush's reelection campaign.

18. Don't Hide Love

2004-03-23

Mavis agrees to host her gay cousin's wedding at the hotel, particularly after finding out that her one hit, Don't Hide Love, has become a gay anthem in the years since she recorded it. Complications arise when Mavis's right-wing brother Courtney plans to host a meeting of the Republican Inclusion Coalition at the hotel on the same weekend.

19. The Squatter

2004-03-30

When gunshots are heard from the TV, which wakes up all of the guests, Mavis goes to deal with the long time guest (Celeste Holm)causing the ruckus. But when Mavis starts yelling at her, the smoke alarm goes off because the guest dried her clothes in the oven. After some more kooky stunts, Mavis realizes this woman can't take care of herself so she calls a social worker. The guest is then placed in a retirement home. Her stuck-up granddaughter then moves into her grandmother's room. She throws a party and ticks off Mavis. After a guilt trip, and also realizing she couldn't deal with the granddaughter, Mavis breaks the guest out of the home and brings her back to the hotel.

20. Identity Crisis (a.k.a. Identity Theft)

2004-04-06

After becoming a victim of idenitity theft, Mavis starts to secretly suspect Rita, who has a secret of her own about a poker game she has set up to help Mavis make some fast cash

21. Strange Bedfellows

2004-04-13

A dating service lures Nasim, whose matchup bears a startling similarity to his tormenting nemesis: the smart-alecky Jadwiga. Also, Rita's insouciance bewitches a GOP functionary, who has ulterior motives in hiring her.

22. Sins of the Sister

2004-04-20

Dirty politics entangle Mavis with an old crony, an assemblyman who's smearing an opponent, Courtney, who hasn't a clue about how to retaliate. Mavis, however, does know how to play hardball.